i'd eat a tossed salad any day.

not necessarily deprivation of food, though in the short term i've been told the benefits of a fast can be amazing, euphoric even. clearer eyes, a clearer mind, the ability to focus on more important things than what the next meal is going to be. everything in moderation maybe, because anorexia solves nothing. been there. done that. through high school and college. it's a control thing. i lost 100lbs that way. so something good did come out of it maybe, but there are healthier ways that don't slow down your brain, make your hair fall out, breath stink. i'm glad to be over that phase.

deprivation of other things, maybe more specifically boys, is what i'm referring to here. it fuels my mind anyway, to have a taste of what i like and then for it to be taken away. in talking to my roommate meredith last night, we pinpointed that i'm very much into what's unattainable, and in consequence not having it is what drives my artwork. proof in point. this photo book i'm working on. i love to be inspired to produce creative things. so in the end i can't fault the guys who, for whatever reason, decide they don't want to move forward with relating to me. what's meant to be will be. and in the end, we'll all bee happy. <3