DIY BDAY

it's a birthday tradition in our family to take a photo with your birthday cake. for a while i fought it, thinking come on.. really? but a couple of years ago i started enjoying it as a way of documenting how i look at any given age. how genuinely happy i am. how tired i look. this is me this year. better than last i think. i am growing in good ways.. though sometimes on the inside living in the day to day it doesn't feel this way.

exactly. don't fuel the fire. or do. stand up for yourself. and do what you think is right. love always.

happy birthday to me

today is the day. i was born 34 years ago at 11:47 in the evening. the story goes that mom went to the hospital at 9pm, i was born when i was born naturally, and she and dad went home the next morning. business as usual. life.

the next 34 years that followed have been a blur. to me anyway. here i am now. in waco. learning myself. i woke up this morning feeling like i'd been born again. not in the sense of christian. but that life is somehow new. like alot of days these days, destruction ensues. too much comfort is just that. and uninspiring. at least it caused me to write again. blog again. lesson learned. i am growing.

so then. a year ago my heart broke. really it didn't. it hasn't ever i don't think. it's a mindset. "what will be will be". life happens. over and over and over and over. 

do i feel at all? it's a question we ask me alot "these days". and then we do just that. attempt to make alicia feel. wow. broken - everything. 

it's not as bad as it seems. it inspires me to produce art. and this, friends, is my calling.